MarriageDoes marriage counselling work? (And can it save your marriage?)

30th September 2021by Truhap0
marriage/couple counselling

There was a time when marriage was thought to be a lifelong commitment. Today, however, the scenario is entirely different. Marriages in recent times are as short-lived as just a few months or at times a few days. Divorce word was taboo in our society. And now, divorce is no longer a dreaded or alien thing in our society.

Several types of research show an upward trend or an escalation in the divorce rate in the last two decades. Marital problems are on the rise. Patience, understanding empathy has declined and given rise to differences of thoughts and opinions.

It gave rise to the inevitability of marriage counselling. It has its pros and cons. Does a marriage counselling session help the couple? Does it solve the trouble, or rather, it becomes a stress for them.

One perception is that if a couple seeks external support to resolve differences in their marriage, they should look up to their friends and family members. The need for an outsider, such as a couple of psychologists, indicates that the marriage is almost over. The need for a psychologist in marriage counselling is critical to understand the couple as individuals.

Factors That Affect Therapy’s Outcomes

Factors that affect the outcome of marriage counselling depend on the partner’s willingness to accept their mistakes, resolve their differences, learn new things about each other, and new ways to communicate with each other. The couple should accept the guidance of the professional counsellor to resolve their marriage’s crisis and recovery.

Both partners should be willing to commit to the healing process and be true to each other at all times. They should be aware of the effects of their actions and take responsibility to work on their marital problems. The list is never-ending. But, these qualities are expected from the couple to work out things in a healthy way. Some of the factors that would affect marriage counselling or couple therapy are as below:

  • The Point of No Return
  • Communication Collapse
  • Negative Attitude
  • Financial Crisis

The Point of No Return

One of the major drawbacks of marriage counselling is that, in most cases, couples approach the marriage counsellor as their last resource. By this time, their marriage has almost fallen to

It’s lowest point. It means that substantial damage has already been done to their marriage before they approached for professional help. The chances of success of marriage counselling are higher if the marital problems are detected early.

Communication Collapse

One of the main reasons that require marriage counselling is the collapse of communication. Initially, couples keep ignoring their interpersonal issues and do not share their feelings. It leads to an accumulation of emotional suppression resulting in physical and psychological stress.

In many circumstances, a lack of communication is the primary cause of divorce. Generally, one of the partners stays silent that eventually kills their relationship and then their marriage.

Negative Attitude

One of the root causes that might affect couple therapy is negative communication. It entails shaming their partner, ignoring their needs, being aggressive or passive after a discussion, feeling insecure, and shaming each other. Such types of negative attitudes between the couple escalate to emotional abuse

Financial Betrayal

One of the most recent concerns in a marriage is financial betrayal or infidelity. Financial infidelity is when a partner withholds vital information or lies to the spouse about money. If one of the partners keeps financial secrets from the other, has secret accounts, hides large purchases, lies about spending money, takes huge debt in the name of their partner, etc.

It will lead to loss of trust and financial ruin. It will be disastrous for your interpersonal relationship. Thus it becomes crucial to seek help from marriage counselling services.

What is the Importance of Marriage Counselling?

All the minor troubles in a marriage will build up if they are not addressed or discussed on time, or if they are kept untreated, and it will be too late to reconcile. Marriage counselling works wonders when the issues are identified at an early stage, and the right efforts of communication skills are applied.

Both the partners should be willing to find a solution for their issues. With the intervention of a marriage counsellor, both partners will try to resolve their issues and find solutions for them. One of the most crucial points to remember is that both parties must be willing to reconcile, self-reflect, and learn from their mistakes.

Marriage Counseling Process

The main action required in a marriage counselling process is to sort out the out-of-control issues that are harmful to the relationship. For the counselling process to move ahead, such immediate issues need to be stabilized first, to focus on the other essential causes of these

problems. During the counselling session, the marriage counsellor will focus on minor and major relationship issues. The counsellor would analyze both partners’ willingness to know about themselves, learn new things about their relationship, and ways to communicate with each other. The counsellor would assess whether both partners are willing to set aside their egos and accept responsibility for areas where they have failed.

Ways to predict whether Marriage Counseling will work

A couple seeking marriage counselling sessions wonders about the success rate. It hardly depends on the marriage counsellor’s skills, abilities, and knowledge. The marriage can only be saved if both partners have the will to change and wish to work on it, then there are high chances that the counselling will succeed.

One of the challenges in marriage counselling is that couples often seek help much later in their relationship when their troubles or problems have practically become entrenched. Couples often remain mute and repress their emotions, refusing to express or discuss them with their spouses, which leads to a build-up of tension.

The issues can be related to adultery, not expressing their feelings, etc. Usually, couples reach a destructive stage till the time they acknowledge their problems and decide to opt for marriage counselling. When their marriage reaches this juncture, simple communication techniques will not suffice. At this stage, the couples are going through the worst phase in their relationship and are not conducive to each other.

The counsellor will process these issues and try to ensure that both of them will not do any further damage to their relationship. There would be an evaluation of each partner’s physical and mental history, values, beliefs, thoughts, and family history.

FAQs about Marriage Counselling

What signs should I look for to see whether I need marriage counselling?

Relationships can go through ups and downs. Other times, counselling can be beneficial if you are frequently fighting over trivial matters or if you are having communication difficulties. When your relationship isn’t feeling nurturing, supportive, or satisfying, it’s time to seek help.

Can We Revive our Marriage?

One of the majorly asked questions by the couples opting for marriage counselling is that – will it revive their marriage? Is it possible to rekindle our relationship? The answer is yes, however, it is highly dependent on the couple’s commitment, communication styles, and honesty with one another. By opting for marriage counselling itself is a positive sign indicating that both partners are willing to work on their relationship.

What to Expect in our first session?

For the first session of your marriage counselling, your counsellor would make you feel at ease. It is generally spent in knowing the couple, their marriage, and their issues. This session is

crucial for the counsellor to have all the insights required to draw a proper solution in the coming sessions.

What is the duration of marriage counselling?

There is no set duration of therapy. After six sessions, most couples notice a significant improvement in their relationships.

When is marriage counselling considered too late?

There is no such thing as a too-late situation. Couples are advised to seek help from a counsellor at the first hint of problems. Marriage counselling, on the other hand, can help even if your marriage is having severe issues.

Counsellors may be able to assist you and your partner in identifying problems and working toward a solution using appropriate measures and approaches. If they believe the marriage cannot be saved, they will give their honest opinion and suggest a way out for both parties.

Conclusion:

The pertinent question on the couple’s mind is – does my marriage need counselling? Will it help to save our marriage?

The importance of counselling to a couple is mostly influenced by the severity of the problem and the mental health of the spouses seeking help. While many people wait until their relationship troubles are overwhelming before seeking help, doing so earlier in the process can be beneficial and improve your experience.

Learning to improve your communication, develop effective conflict resolution methods, and re-establish emotional closeness can all help to strengthen your relationship and make you feel closer to your partner.

A flawless, perfect, or conflict-free marriage does not exist. Each marriage has its share of lows and highs. If you believe you and your partner are having difficulties, a marriage psychologist might help you get your relationship back on track. While looking out for the best counsellor or psychologist in Hyderabad – opt for TruHap. You can contact us at +91 9491208645 or write to us at info@truhap.com

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